Jealousy

Jealousy is a disgusting thing, I hate to say it even.  Life can be so cruel and frustrating sometimes.  My old friend recently announced after trying just once she is pregnant.  I hate to be so frustrated, but I just can't help it.  How do you not be this way?  Why is so easy for some?  Why does it have to be so hard for me?  Is this supposed to make me a better person?  Meanwhile my heart palpitations have come back, and my stress levels are up for more than one reason for the last couple of days.  Can they be caused from stress??  Ugh!  I wish someone would just tell me what is going to happen to me.  I just need something good to happen, do I not deserve it? God, can I please just get some answers, please my heart is breaking and my spirit is shaken.  I know that I sometimes get frustrated, but I never lose faith.